For example, 'Dibs'. As in, "I call dibs on the last Oreo."

January 5, 2026   Greetings from the foreshadow,   Many readers have clamored for the return of the more or less annual predictions list for the coming year.  (Several of the words in that sentence are not completely accurate.) Therefore, bowing to imagined demand by a fictional list of people who probably don’t read this piece, here are some reasonable guesses for the year 2026.   The Farmer’s Almanac will stop publication this year. A spokesperson for the magazine, first pu

I'm certain real woodsmen don't say things like 'bark crumbs'.

November 24, 2025   Greetings from the Wrap Party,   This week will mark an important event in our country. (Pause here and hold your breath for dramatic effect.)   Thursday is Thanksgiving, ostensibly a day when we celebrate the relocation of homeless people by American Patriots. (I use the word ‘ostensibly’ because I am confident no one will look up the definition this early in the essay.)  Thanksgiving is an important event, but it is only part of the big picture. It is, s

Artificial intelligence is NOT thinking you know something you don't actually know.

...there might have been Celtic priests, some of whom went on to play basketball in Boston.

October 6, 2025   Greetings from the economics comics,   Many readers come to this space for solutions to the big problems of the world.  Parts of that last sentence may not be true.  For the part of it that was true, welcome.   So today we will attempt to address a relevant irrelevancy, a phrase I have been waiting to use since I first thought of it when I was told my role at my daughter’s wedding.   Most cities of any size have shopping malls, giant spaces filled with a var

I have not been unhappy with the groundhog, per se, who I have named Ollie, because 'Per Se' is not appropriate.

Which was also 'groovy', a word that hadn't been used by my generation except on Dragnet episodes.

“David, you say you love being in nature, why is it you have never learned anything about it?” 

Yes, I used a 'meta' metaphor.

For those of you taking notes, don't open your mouth to speak until you're ready. Your lips dry out and stick to your teeth.

Yes, I know I could also just wash my car in my driveway, but jeez, I'm not a neanderthal.

Then, in one day, I heard more about curling than I had in all my days before.

There is a sort of carnival hysteria inside Costco.

This rule was: you don’t get down from the table until you finish your meal.

...when writing a disagreeable swear word, it might appear as '#@&*!', which is also my password to my AOL account.

...when did it become normal for the announcers to phrases like ‘home run’ and ‘perfect strike’ as metaphors in football?

As everyone knows, a phrase I like to say to avoid arguments, pillows are where dreams come from.

There was also a series of memorable moments that featured falling down while falling down.