April 17, 2023
Greetings from the urbane,
I like to think I’m a sophisticated person. It’s not true, but I like to think it.
I have worn a tuxedo, and I have spit watermelon seeds for prizes. I have read the classics and subscribed to Mad Magazine. Mostly it is a balanced life, but when it comes to being cultured, observers may find me perhaps more Fred Flintstone and less Fred Astaire.
If you need an example of my boorishness, I will confess I am guilty of eating with my elbows on the table. It seems so natural, as if they were made to go together. While we’re here, I also put my elbows on the shared armrest on airplanes.
When I sneeze, it is often so loud and violent it will set off smoke alarms, and I almost always conclude one of these explosions with a victory whoop afterward. In church, this often causes people to stop whatever they are praying for.
It might be that there was an arc to my refinement, so to speak. Perhaps there was a moment of sophistication that one may have missed if one were not looking at the exact right time. Like the Leonids meteor shower.
This self-reflection all came bubbling up when I heard that the musical ‘Phantom of the Opera’ was closing after 35 years on Broadway. Evidently, it is kind of a big deal. Again, showing my somewhat provincial perspective. (I had to look up ‘Broadway’ which I thought was a streaming service like Netflix)
I could count the number of musicals I have seen on one hand, which really doesn’t tell you anything because I lose track after counting to three. Sometimes I’ll forget what finger I am on and then I go make peanut butter toast.
I can clearly remember when my wife told me we were going to see ‘Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat’. Inside I was saying “Please let this be some kind of 80’s cover band.”
Her: “It’s a musical.”
Me: “You mean we sing the whole time?”
Her: “No, the people in the play sing the whole time.”
Me: “What do we do?”
Her: “We sit in the audience and listen.”
Me: (long pause) “Where do I put my elbows?”
That was thirty years ago. I will admit there was a period of adjustment, (which I will also admit I am still in) but, somewhere during that time, I became more willing to see musicals and enjoy them. And eventually, we saw Phantom of the Opera.
First, I was surprised that Donny Osmond wasn’t in it, but it turns out they have different people in different musicals. But before long the play swept me away and I forgot I was sitting in a theater, which is easy to do when you are napping.
In truth, I enjoyed the music and the drama. There were explosions and smoke and a crashing chandelier and some good snacks at intermission. When I realized they were not singing in Italian, it made it easier to follow along.
In case you think I am a complete philistine; I want you to know that Phantom made an impression on me. Earlier this morning, as I was making peanut butter toast, I sang one of the songs I remembered from the musical:
“Masqueraaaaaade!.., ….something hmm hmmmhmmhm dah dah dedah dah. Mmm, hmm…Masqueraaaaaade! …, something… yabba dabba doo…”
I really am evolving.
Hope this finds you cultivated,
David
Copyright © 2023 David Smith
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