January 2, 2023
Greetings from the alternative,
It’s natural this time of year to reflect on our path from the months before, and think about what might be waiting for us in the time to come. All of us benefit from this bit of rumination, and no matter your opinion about the significance of the new year, and the attendant resolutions, it is usually a healthy exercise.
W. Clement Stone, the serial optimist, said: “Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them.” While this has always seemed like a dire warning, I realize at the core are the same beliefs I hold. Our choices create who we are, and how our life feels to us. I think the word ‘careful’ sometimes bothers me though.
Last week I mentioned a beautiful run I took in the snow with two friends of mine. Like thousands of other times, running provided an environment that encouraged conversation, multiplied by the good company I was in. As we ran through the woods, throwing up powder around us, we traded thoughts on the choices we made, and more importantly, how we thought we arrived in them.
More often than not our choices were pretty predictable and safe. We also saw that the times when we pushed past the ordinary it led to some experience that was more memorable or meaningful. Easy to see in retrospect, but hard to spot sometimes when we are choosing.
One thing we all recognized was that we had people in our lives who offered a different enough perspective that helped us leap from the sometimes rote selections we made to much richer outcomes.
This led me to a list of people I admire, whose actions and attitudes seem to create more fun, try new things, or at the minimum, put a little risk in their choices, leaving a bit more to chance. So, good example, but how to emulate that?
Carson put it simply: take the most interesting choice. That stuck with me, but I still wondered how anyone knew what that was in the moment.
When we got back from our run I toasted a waffle, had some yogurt. Carson began pulling out pans and utensils, rummaging through the refrigerator. Before long the kitchen was filled with incredible aroma. He sauteed tangerines in some concoction, grilled grapefruits, fried eggs, and soon was setting the table for him and Hattie to have breakfast. “We are having kind of a special meal so I felt like it called for champagne,” he said, as he filled the glasses.
Huh.
So much of my life has relied on routine, on practice, on repetition, consistency, I sometimes become blind to my automatic choices. In the last months I’ve pushed that, but I realize that I need to choose people and circumstances that will help me find more edges.
I wrote down everything I could think of that led to this kind of choosing, but maybe you can add to it: Choose what is challenging, be uncomfortable, be surprised, be inconvenienced. Choose what will probably cause you to learn something new. Choose what will force you to adapt, to think on the fly, to make mistakes. Choose what is complicated. Choose the strange environment, the people you don’t know, the thing you are afraid of, the mysterious, the unusual. Choose the new place, choose the stranger, choose to spend time with the friend who makes the choices you admire.
Choose to do hard things.
I realize there are risks in all of these choices. We can fail, fall down, be disappointed be stuck in a place we are not happy with. We may try something we don’t enjoy. The greater risk, though, is that we will miss the chance for a richer life. We can choose with care, but perhaps with more courage.
It’s not all adventures and bungee jumping. It can be as simple as breakfast.
Hope this finds you choosing carelessly,
David
Copyright © 2023 David Smith
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