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Falling Off the Soapbox

July 3, 2023


Greetings from the incessantly reformed,


It is not always easy being a hypocrite. Well, to everyone watching us, it looks easy, but inside, it’s complicated. I hope you don’t mind, I included some of you in this.


This is not really a good example of my hypocrisy, but sometimes, because of my easygoing personality, you might not guess that I have a few pet peeves. I’ll pause here while you try to decide if I am being sarcastic.

Regardless of how you guess, there are a few things that irritate me to the point of apoplexy. I won’t list them here because that will lead to you judging me, and since most of us are hypocrites, you would pretend not to, and I would pretend I don’t care. So I won’t. List them that is.


I will only mention the one, since it’s relevant, and because makes me livid. I might mention another one later, but you will have to read on to see if I do. That way if you had just now lost interest, or if you were offended by the oblique reference to your hypocrisy, you might be tempted to stay.


Once in a while, I will see people stop at intersections, usually at highway exits, and then dump their trash at the curb. Usually, it’s someone emptying their ashtray, but just as often people are throwing their fast-food bags out the window. This makes me so mad I could spit nails. But I would not spit them on the side of the road, that would be wrong.


There are often people who stand at the highway exit and panhandle, and I have seen these folks add to, and subtract from the flotsam that accumulates. I have mixed feelings about this, and some are not directly related to the subject, but I wanted to mention it in case any of you are panhandlers. I don’t want you to think I blame you, entirely.


Some of you may now be offended by the panhandler implication, and I apologize. Most of the time I am careful to avoid insulting my readers, but I’ve already risked it twice and I haven’t even warmed up yet. Whew. I feel bad about that. (Admit it, you don’t know if I’m being honest.)


Occasionally I will get on my soapbox about people throwing trash on the road as casually as they do in their own living room. It is a safe soapbox to stand on because no one ever defends these litter mongers. When the opportunity comes up, I feel my passion boiling in me, and I will pontificate like I just invented honesty.


What’s interesting about being self-righteous is that sooner or later you realize that in addition to being right, you are also a hypocrite. It’s almost comical, except, at least in my case, it’s so sad.


Now, I’m not saying that just because you believe strongly in something you are a hypocrite. It may just be coincidental.


Last week I listened to a story about Mt. Everest, one of the most astonishing places on earth, famous for being the highest peak on the planet, and for about 70 years it has driven the adventurous spirit of mountain climbers around the world. Over six thousand people have summited the peak, and thousands more have tried and failed. Some of those who failed died, and their bodies are still frozen in place on the mountain.


But the news story was not about those unfortunate souls, although they were included. It was about the trash. For decades the climbers that attempt to summit have left behind, on average, twenty pounds of trash. Some organizations estimate that there are thirty tons of garbage at base camp and along the ascent trails. Thirty tons. Like a couple dozen abandoned cars up on blocks in one of the most beautiful places on earth.


As you can imagine, if the thoughtless litter-scum at the highway exit makes me angry, this ecological disaster must really inspire my ire. And you and your imagination would be right. I have been aware of the trash piling up at the top of the world, but somehow I thought someone was going to take care of it. You know, someone in charge.


In fact, various organizations are making an effort to haul some of the garbage down, and to do something about the cadavers that have littered the landscape for years. But it’s startling to see the majestic mountains, the top of the world, surrounded by a sea of rubbish. It immediately made me think of the far less inspiring highway exit, rife with cigarette butts and McDonald’s packages and scraps of signs promising to buy your ugly house or sell you a mattress, cheap.


And I rose up with a mighty righteousness, indignant, angry, ready to judge and condemn and posture. And then I remembered I was a hypocrite. That takes a little steam out of you. It doesn’t mean I don’t want the change, it means I do not have the license to judge or criticize others.


I have thrown trash out my window, although not for decades. I have also done awful things to this beautiful world which I love so much, on purpose, that I will never tell you about because it would embarrass us both. I am no better than my fellow humans who thoughtlessly dump their foul, awful offal in the coarse grass near the pavement. I am not going to condemn anyone unless I start with me.


So let me say what I am capable of: atonement. I have tried to be more responsible, flailed around helplessly to recycle, purchase responsibly, given to causes, and said encouraging things to people who are actually doing something important to save our world. And, finally, faced my own truth.


So, I will do more, starting with spending zero time judging people with whom I share the guilt. I will make amends, pick up trash I didn’t leave, pay for messes I didn’t make, and take responsibility where others shirk theirs, all in hopes to make up for the sins of my past. And ultimately behave so that Ila and her friends will be able to see the mountains and not cringe at her grandparents’ recklessness. And hypocrisy.


If you are throwing trash out your car window, knock that stuff off. Oh, and if you tailgate me on the expressway, I don’t care how important you are, prepare for a withering look from a very angry hypocrite. If it wasn’t littering, I’d throw my soapbox at you.



Hope this finds you living up to your belief,



David






Copyright © 2023 David Smith

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